Michelle Allen aka The Drunken Cow

Middletown, Ohio (The Weekly Vice) -- Michelle Allen, a 32 year old Middletown, Ohio woman was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct after she chased neighborhood children around, urinated on a neighbor's front porch and then blocked traffic - all while dressing in a cow costume.

Police were contacted Monday evening after a woman was seen chasing after neighborhood children and interfering with traffic along the 3100 block of Wilbraham Rd. Witnesses also say Allen urinated on a neighbor's front porch, according to the arrest affidavit.

When police arrived, they told Allen to go home and to stay at home for the remainder of the evening.

Instead, police say, Allen was found later that same evening blocking traffic on North Verity Parkway. Officers stated that the woman was verbally abusive to the officers, acted belligerent, used profanity, and smelled of alcohol. Allen also threatened to cause problems in jail if she was arrested.

Allen was taken into custody and charged with disorderly conduct.

She was reportedly still dressed like a cow at her arraignment hearing Tuesday morning, although there was no explanation as to why she was still wearing the costume.



OK, this one got me in stitches.

Its not everyday that you hear such stories but this is udderly insane. I mean, why would a cow dress up as a woman? Its one thing to call a cow, a cow. But its not funny when you call a cow, a woman. Was it suffering from Mad Cow Disease or what? I mean, Halloween is just weeks away and going around the streets with that costume now, is just risking it. Maybe it had a beef with the farmer and was on its way to seek some bovine retribution. Or maybe it just had too much Grass.

But whatever it was, I am very certain the authorities won't get much out of it except for the miscommunication part because drunks always mince their words. Most probably, she would say, "Hoof off" or something in that particular. It would be a big problem for everyone if she said, "I'm horny in jail too"

And I can tell you, the media are having a field day milking this one dry.