Escaped convicts

Just for a few hours today, my Wife and I escaped out of the house for some New Year shopping. After 5 hours, she got a nice haircut and some clothes while I got myself some pretty nice sore feet. Yeah, there was nothing much for me in Endah Parade at Sri Petaling, except for some Gundam models which I was not allowed to buy.

By the time we got back, Kristine has soaked the cot, nappies, towel, etc. Everything within her reach was decorated with her wee-wee, and tired out my Parents.
(I know other animals, esp. Dogs pee to mark their territoty)

So, I had no choice but to give her a towel bath. Now comes the fun part. Yep, more wee-wee into her new change of clothes. And by the time I got her into another set, she did it again.

Kristine about to show her appreciation for this morning's bath

Of Mustard pants and tea ceremonies

Today is a very exciting for all of us.

Kristine's poo-poo is now brownish, with consistency almost like that of mustard sauce. Yes, mustard sauce are great for that extra oomph on your Burger/Sandwich/Fried Chicken/Cornflakes/etc. But not Kristine's which is just plain yuck.

When I held her, she was happy and quite talkative, which I guess, was her way of distracting me while she poo-poo-ed into her nappy and out onto my pants. That was Part One.

Anyway, it was time for her bath, which was ok. She thoroughly enjoyed it and promptly rewarded me with some wee-wee (Tea Ceremony). There goes her clothes. And that was Part Two.

After a change of nappies and more clothes, Kristine and I had another Tea Ceremony. That was Part Three.

While I was trying to get out of my wet and soiled pants, my Wife told me that there's more Mustard to go round.....................


Ooohhh................ yes

Oh, yes... yes....yes!

Its coming.......... its coming....its-oh
Oh yes! Oh Yes! Oh Yes! More........... ooooooooo mmmmmmmmm

Yeah! Oh yes! Oh Yes! Oh YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS! More! I want more!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!


And wondrous cool air flooded into the car.
Two hours of waiting and sweating while my Wife's Car's Air-con was being fixed. The bill came to RM165 which is, RM85 for the air-con hose (which resembled more like a heavy-duty garden hose used for whacking rats), RM50 for the "Original" air-con gas and remaining RM35 for service. MAybe I should not mention the word service as I have never seen a guy using a toothbrush to clean the air-con radiator. Ha ha ha. But seriously, this shop is great and there were a lot of customers. They actually did a very good job and would always show the customer the fault before getting approval to either replace or not at all.

After swearing for two hours, my AutoWorld T-Shirt has those funny white stains, which I surmised would be the dried salt from my sweat which has evaporated.......

Reverse Banging

I was passing by Bangsar just now, and an incident really irked me.

There was this guy in a Kancil, reversing without bother to look at the rear. It so happens there was a lady standing there, waiting to cross the road. So, he reversed his car and hit her. Already there were a few witnesses and this guy just sat there, looked at everybody and smiled his cynical smile.

I was nearest to his car and wanted to get him to come out an apologize. However, luckily I calmed down and my brain went overtime reassessing the situation:

1) The Victim had a big butt like a cow so the reverse 2kmh did not create any injury except a mild scream like those bad horror movies.
2) The Driver was a TALL fella who could deck me with one blow and also, the rest of the witnesses decided it was safer to just get a ringside seat.


Friends for Lunch

You know, its fun to have lunch together with your friends. Even more so when you have not seen his ugly mug for ages. So, after deciding the perfect spot, there is the problem of money.

Yep. Its the now all too familiar scene of everyone fighting to pay for the whole meal. Some do it because:

1) Shows he is the better person
2) Shows he is well off
3) So that you "owe" him the next time
4) There is a prawn hiding somewhere
5) He actually really really likes you
6) Because he wants to
7) Well, I don't know. Everyone's doing it

So, the typical scene would be like this

Him: Its my treat
You: No, no, its mine
Him: You paid the last time
You: Nope you did
Him: I pay, its just a small sum
You: No, I pay
Him: I pay
You: No, I pay
Him: I pay
You: No, I pay
Him: I pay

{Reverse psychology}

You: OK, you pay, then
Him: Er, I forgot my wallet, can you pay for me? I'll pay you back next time

(OK, I made that last part up. Because there won't be a next time. Ha. Ha.)

But in reality, its always like that. People just want to treat their friends or clients, etc. Some do it just for, you know, being nice, some with ulterior motives and some just for business.

But there is a difference when paying for a large group of people. In reality, the more friends you have, the person who pays for that meal, usually gets back more in the end. And no one would refuse to pay because the rest are already going for their wallets/purses. Really.

Friend: Haiya, everyone RM18.90, ah? Here, I give you RM20 la. No need to change.
You: (Smiling silently because you have 10 friends. So you got enough for a Movie ticket and a Subsidised trip to the Premium Toilet at Suria KLCC)

But for me, I am always the slowest to reach for my Wallet. Heh. Its always the case that when I was eating, all of a sudden, the guy would slap the moolah on the waiter's hand/dish. And I was like, "Huh?". Missed the chance, boyo

There's something about the Weather

Mr. Sun has been very hardworking for the past 2 weeks and its taking its toll on us. And just for tonight, Mr Air-con-Gas decided to go on strike and contaminate the environment instead. My voice has already gone funny from all those iced drinks but I can't help it. Its nice:

Recipe for Orange Sprite

1.5 Litre of Sprite (Have not tried Sprite ICE, though)
2 Fresh oranges
1 Liter Mug

1. Wash and then cut the 2 oranges into 12 pieces
2. Squeeze their juice into the Mug
3. Throw the squeezed oranges into the Mug
4. Fill the whole Mug with ice.
5. Fill the Mug with more ice.
6. Slowly pour the Sprite into the Mug.
7. Let the ice melt for a few minutes
8. Think how nice it would be if you added crushed mint leaves
9. Or even 5 table spoons of Kahlua
10. But I would stop at adding onions into it

Try it. In the near future, maybe I will share my CornFlake Sardine recipe with you

The Gift

She stared at me, with her beautiful eyes, as if she could not believe I was there for her. Her looks, so innocent yet full of wonder, betrays that of an eager young girl wanting something from me.

I see my reflection in her big brown eyes. Her eyes moved up and down, looking for something. My Eyes? My Lips? My Nose, perhaps? At last, after a few heartbeats, she has found it, and her face changed.

I guess her feelings welled up inside her that she grimaced. Trying to keep it all in, trying to control her emotions from being let out. Her eyes squeezed shut and her lips pursed tightly.

But, alas, finally, she had to let it go.


She created an aromatic Masterpiece from a 45 sen disposable nappy which I had changed moments earlier.

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. Oh, no, no, no. The fun goes on. As they say, what goes down must come up. Yep, all the Formula milk my Wife sneakily tried to feed her hours ago, are gushing out in torrents. You take the tissue and wipe one side of her mouth, it gushes out from the other side. Then you take another piece of tissue to cover that side, out it comes, from the other side. In the end, my Wife thought I was trying to kill Kristine with my hands when in actual fact, I was holding enough tissues to cover both sides of her mouth. But sad to say, I think I have killed a few trees in the process.

Her clothes was wet and I had to change her again. With the last button almost in place, out comes the Formula again. Yes, she hates Formula and I am not surprised as it takes a long time for her to digest them. Whoever invented Formulas must have hated their parents a lot. How else can you explain the perfect revenge plot?

While she smiled.

We cried.

And it’s the start of another exciting day with Kristine, who can turn into a mess from 0 to 4.5 seconds.

This was taken seconds before more milk flowed and spoilt the whole thing

HotWheels Obsession III

I was at Lot10 this morning to service a customer. On the way back, I passed through Isetan's Toy Department and noticed the "Buy 2 get 1 free" offer was still on................

So, I decided to buy 12 of them, which means I only have to pay for 4 sets cars (RM39.20). However, two Sales Assistants saw me drooling over the Toys, walked up and asked me which models I was looking for. Not being accustomed to being served, I decided to brush them off, saying I was looking for the Acceleracers (Not available in Malaysia). But once they started to show me a Treasure Hunt car, I was hooked. Damn!

In the end, I bought 12 cars, (RM58.80) which I can have another 6 for free. They even gave me a basket to carry all the HotWheels and helped me put them into the plastic bags.

Ahahahahahaha! I am so greedy!!!

Uncle Ho cares.............

This incident was based on the even last week where a VCD peddler was shot by an Enforcement Officer. A nearby innocent bystander was shot as well.

Click to the link for the hilarious article at TV Smith.

Yes to Uncle Ho. No to Censored Originals

Alarm! Alarm!

Just after 615am, the Security Centre called me up on my Mobile (How did they know I was awake?) saying Zone2 (Front door) was activated. So, I called up my other colleagues and tried to inform them about the incident.

The operative word is "Tried".

Because their phones were off and the guy on the other line did say my phone was the only one they could reach me. Cheh.

So, being a bit curious, I decided to go to the office to check things out. At 630am. It turned out to be a false alarm and since there is no point in going back home again to sleep, I decided to nap in the office. Except that I forgot the air-con was as quiet as a wheezing hippo.

Accident Incident

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Some threads are so dangerously funny. This was taken from I do hope he (KariSeng) would still be alive next week or his nose grows an inch longer.

KNBCCB! I was tailgated by this ah beng in his wiralution on the highway.
the farker was so damn close to my backside. I was quite pissed that time,
so i tap on my brake slightly just to scare him a bit and hopefully back
off. mana tau the fella skill no good slam into my rear.

TLMCH! Before i could even go down to access the damage, this pariah dog
came rushing out from his car with a truncheon. he had pai kiah face with
golden hair type. he knocked my car boot with his stick then point at me
ask me to come out. this is not the first time i meet road bully so i had
in mind what to do. if i argue with him sure he belasah me.

i wind down my window slightly and told him in mandarin "got anything talk
nicely". the ciibai kia still shouting profanities. so nvm la, i got down
and told him its my fault, all my fault. I also said i will pay the full
damage and additional compensation for his time. When i quoted an amount
he cool down a bit but still shouted at me say why i purposely brake.
Knowing that he is an uneducated pig, i didnt argue just say sorry sorry
sorry while putting my hand around his shoulder as a friendly gesture.

As he was just beginning to calm down for the first time, i quickly draw
my other hand and stab his eye with my finger as hard as i could. kena
jackpot sial. haha he was screaming in pain in mandarin "oh my eyes oh my
eyes" haha tai sei raod bully. obvioucly he couldnt even stand properly
that time. i hop onto my car and drove off. my finger was wet though, i
think covered with some liquid, maybe his tear.

Original Thread here

Fatal Assumption

"Never assume because it makes an ASS out of U and ME"

Yeah, that's my problem. I always take things for granted or assume things would be so.

"I'm sorry, you have to collect a few phones today" my colleague told me this morning. Well, its routine stuff to me because of our on-and-off JIT (Just in Time) method of keeping stock.

So, I ASSSUME, nothing would go wrong. Driving all the way from Kepong to Shah Alam, I did not foresee any problems except for the fact that almost all cars are having fun overtaking me, even at the 50kmh stretch.

So, by the time I arrived and got though Security, I discovered a lot of Murphy's Law followers:

1) My ex-colleagues saw me and took me for lunch at the Shops behind RECARO and THULE
2) In my excitement, I forgot my Notebook in the car, and we had to turn back
3) When we arrived, I forgot I left my wallet in the car too. No, we cannot turn back this time because we spent nearly 20 minutes looking for a parking spot.
4) When we got back, the Logistics people misplaced our company's purchase list.
5) When I saw the "few phones", it turned out to be 5 BIG boxes, which I wished I had bought a THULE roof-rack for my Satria
6) Squeezing all the phones into every nook and corner of the car took me an hour instead of minutes

So, the moral of the story is, you'd really have to ask in details when your friends tell you things casually. This is the first danger sign which always caught me off guard.

HotWheels Obsession

No, this has nothing to do with those ridiculously fast Sportscars with obscene 6-digit price-tags.

It all started in December when I saw them with an irresitible offer of "Buy2 get 1 free" at the new"Toy Wiz" Toy Shop in Amcorp Mall. Four years ago, I only bought them when I had the time and money (if I was not splurging them on my failed electronic prototypes that does nothing but gives out smoke) . And unfortunately for me, the price has gone up to RM4.90 too.

Still, (RM4.90 x 2 = RM9.80 = 3 cars) it was too irresistible. Still, I decided to look at the windows where they displayed some "samples". Bad mistake.

ME: These cars are very different.
TW: Yes, some might not reach Malaysian shores for a long time.
ME: Really? So, how much for this one?
TW: RM4.00
ME: And this? And this? and that.................
TW: OK, RM10 for three.

So, but the time I left the shop, I got about RM20 worth of HotWheels cars and the Batmobile which I was told, "Might not reach Malaysian shore for some time... ha". If I had my way (and more cash) I would have bought averything and they "Might not reach the whole World for some time".

They are called Acceleracers aka World Race 2. They are different from normal Hotwheels cars due to the transparent wheels that comes in different colours and the rim designs are something what you see from an Enkei catalogue.


Termite attack III

The termite guy came and went. This time, they did a much better job as the one who came earlier was not so effective and he is the Supervisor somemore.

(This is what my parents told me after the termite guys told them.)

So, my Sister's room was not really affected as the termites started at the ceiling surface. Unfortunately, the kitchen was not so lucky. In two weeks time, they will return, along with a contractor to break open a hole in the ceiling for them to spray at the termites.

I'll bet dinner will taste more delicious after this.

Nose boogering

Well, what can I say?

Kiristine takes after me, especially in the nose section. Yes, she already has boogers. The dried up ones flap in and out of her nostrils everytime she takes a breath and exhales. I wonder when she will start digging her nose................

Ha. Ha. You cannot see her booger but here is something else I got....

Kristine is a Vampire Diva!!!

Its now 4:20 in the morning (Malaysian time) and for the past few days, Kristine has been sleeping like an Angel the whole day only to start her performance after mid-night till six in the morning. Just yesterday, I got off work early, finished my business so that I can catch up with Mr. Sandman.

Unfortunately, tonight, we got tickets to the whole front seats again.

So, its like routine now:

Wife, after BM feeding, supplements with Formula.
Kristine cries

Wife cradles, burps and conforts her.
Kristine cries

I woke up and comfort her
Kristine cries or calms down (usually)

Once she starts sleeping, I put her in the cot.
Kristine cries

I check her nappy for poo-poo and change them
Kristine calms down and then cries

I gave her back to Wife for more BF
Kristine enjoys the meal and then cries.

Mom wakes up, kidnaps Kristine away
I miss my Kristine and I cry

Chope! Thats my table!

So, I was in Mont Kiara today, after visiting a customer and I decided to celebrate the New Year with a visit to MacDonalds. (OK, I wanted to go to Burger King but it was too much of a hassle)

So, I put my stuff on a table, the Malaysian way of "booking" a space, i.e. I "chope-ed" first. Either that, or I have to bring all my tools to the counter and those nice weird people there would assume I was there to fix something. Anyway, I decided to try the Prosperity Burger which costs me RM8.88 and RM3.99 for a Prosperity Pal (OK, it looked cute at that time). By the time I turned around, some nut has moved all my stuff to another table.

Someone else has taken my table!!

Sitting there was a sweet young little European girl from the nearby International School, with those quaint innocent looks and sweet smile (with braces that looked more like it was designed to keep something horrible in) that only a mother from a lunatic asylum would love.

So, I had two choices. Either I poke her eyes out with my curly fries or I smiled back and move all my stuff to another table. Being a little but hungry, I chose the latter.

The Prosperity Pal, the Ox (I wanted the Monkey, for obvious reasons)

Oh, oh, the termite's nest have expanded

This is a different sort of bun, for only RM2.00

Hey, look! They also so natural orange flavoured air filters too

The Customer is always right

Rule#1: The Customer is always right
Rule#2: If the customer is wrong, see Rule #1

Being in a service industry is not always fun. Sure, the perks are great, like getting free food & drinks, talking to sexy customers, and even going to places where no ordinary people knew about. (I've been to the defunct Channel4's video vault) But there is always the bad side. You have to face customers who either came out half-way from a lobotomy job or who just happens to be the consecutive winner of the Village Idiot Award.

It is always frustrating to arrive at the customer's place only to find there is nothing wrong with the phone system, just like yesterday afternoon:

Me: Hello, you mentioned there is a problem with the phones?
Customer: Yes, we can't call out. But our clients can call in.
Me: OK, can you show me how you found out about this problem?
Customer: [Customer showing the problem]
Me: Ok, I know whats the problem. Have you called Telekoms about this problem?
[I was tired and wished this problem would just go away]
Customer: Yes, we have and they proved it to us that its working.
We just can't dial out using your phone system.
Me: Give me a few minutes to check
[Goes into the cabinet and fiddles for a while...... aha!]
Have you been using Centrex?
Customer: Yeah, we subscribed for the service because its cheaper than normal line
Me: Ok, can you tell me how to make a call using Centrex?
Customer: Easy. You just lift up the handset and........ dial.......a......."9"
[Suddenly it dawned on her]
Me: And followed by the telephone number (finishing her sentence)
Customer: Oops

And to think I drove all the way from Sungei Wang to Shah Alam just for this pleasureable experience. Argh.

Termite attack II

Damn it! Just after one and a half days, they're back again. This time, they have re-constructed thier nest, which is about 5 inches per day. More of them are dropping and dying onto the bed. Looks like really I have to convince Dad further.......

They have not only rebuld the nest, its 2/3 of the ceiling length now.

Greeting and Driving

Driving is a normal way of life in every country. But what happens when you notice you friend on the other car or on the side of the street?

Right. Give a honk and wave your hand, hoping they see you and wave back.

Now, try doing this in the dark.

How you happen/accidentally spot your friend, can be from various cues:

1) You were actually looking at that beautiful girl across the street
2) Some moron actually cut in front of your car
3) Stickers associated with Clubs/Forums like AutoWorld, SPOC and WPC
4) Some idiot donated butts for the goodwill of other road users
5) You happened to look up at the Bus...........
6) You were digging your nose and trying to flick the booger out of the window
7) Etcetera, etcetera

This happened on Friday night while I was on my way back and I happened to be enjoying the traffic crawl along the Motorola Bridge, towards Federal Highway. So, while I was digging my nose (see #6 above) and happened to see another red Satria on my right. It has a big SPOC sticker behind (later, I found out his nick was Epileather. Hi!). So, trying to be nice, I tried to wave to him. Unfortunately, I was talking to my friend on the mobile phone. So, while I was in the car, I was:

1) Honking the guy with my elbow
2) Waving my arm like an idiot while cradling the Mobile Phone with my neck
3) Searching for the car Mobile Phone charger because the battery is dying. Fast
4) Driving with my legs

In the end, I think he did saw me or rather, a bloated hunchback showing off his underarm hair collection .

Update [18.01.2995]
This is so embarassing as its a case of mistaken identity. The person was not Epileather but Adyzul. Sorry, guys

Thunderbirds are Go!

Heh. I just sat through the Thunderbirds (2004) movie .......... and thoroughly enjoyed it.

However, for the rest of the World outside UK (not Ulu Klang) its boring, stupid, campy, etc. So, its not a surprise to me that it flopped "outside" the shores. The movie even came to the Malaysian cinemas and left without a peep. But you have to understand this:

You see, like Judge Dredd of 2000AD (Starring Sylvester Stallone), Doctor Who, Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet, UFO, Space 1999, Sapphire And Steel are all products of British Television. So, anyone growing up in the U.K. or been there would have understood who or what they are. Any gaffs are usually spotted straight away and pisses the fans right off. Unfortunately, in the hands of the "Americans", making these movies, no matter how good they try, are usually faulted. For example, Judge Dredd NEVER did remove his helmet to show his true face. And the FAB1 is actually a Rolls Royce and not a Ford. (OK, Rolls Royce did not want their brand associated with the movie)

The irony was, I was never a fan of the Thunderbirds although I used to have the Thunderbird 2and the Space 1999 Eagle from Dinky Toys. Maybe because of the look of the puppets, which resembled more like talking dried fruit being strung up. But the designs of their vehicles were astounding. They looked so real, as if it could be reality in a few more decades.

However, in this movie, it was more of less aimed at the kids and not hard-core fans. And to be able to enjoy this, you'd really have to sit back, put your brain in your pockets and enjoy.

I don't care how others felt about the movie. So, F A B!!!!

A Faxing Question

Just last week, I had a friend who was trying to help me by buying some fax machines from us. So, I had to e-Mail the brochure to him. After trying 2 e-Mail addresses, (one was full) the brochure got through successfully. While thinking about the whole thing, some 0.5W bulb lighted up, because it would be very funny indeed if we actually did spoke on the phone.

Me: Hello, you need this model, right?
Him: Yes, that's the one. Can you e-Mail it to me? We need it asap.
Me: Um, I'm in the office right now and we do not have Internet facilities. Can I have your fax number so I can fax it to you instead?
Him: .........................
Me: .......................... Oops

[How can I fax it to him if he does not have a fax machine in the first place]

Poopy day

This is Kristine's third week and visitors are still coming; our Brother-In-Law and his wife who just rushed back from Singapore. Last week was my Mom-in-Law, 4th Sis-in-Law with her daughter, 7th Sis-in-Law and 6th Sis-in-Law (who rushed back from Singapore)

Kristine was doing her best achieving more than her usual quota today, and also drinking more B-Milk, almost non-stop. We kept changing diapers after diapers and I saw no point in injuring myself with the safety-pin, so....................

Termite attack

Just barely a week after the Pest Control guy came, the termites are at it again. This time, its at my Sister's room. I reported (to anyone who can hear my complains) that I hear their crunching noises a few days earlier. Apparently, the termite spray has got them on the run (from the Kitchen) and while looking for a new place, most of them fell on my sister's bed. Luckily, it was covered with a white bedsheet which my Wife noticed.

This is bad news. Lest year, it attacked my stuff, went for the Storeroom, then the Laundry room, the bathroom roof near my room, the Kitchen and now this. Sigh

Oh, look. Their nest is starting to take shape.

These jolly little fellows are still at it even after I used the vacuum cleaner on them

Wasabi poo-poo

Before I start, let's do some imagination.

Imagine you're in the bathroom, ready to brush your teeth.
(OK, I am assuming you are my good friend who REALLY brush their teeth)

Imagine opening the cap of the fresh and new tube of Colgate Toothpaste.
Imagine the horrible face you make when you squeeze out the toothpaste which is half solid and half liquid, with lots of bubbles.

Imagine if that toothpaste turns to green, as in Wasabi Green.

Got that?

Good. That is what Kristine's poo-poo looked like just now.

And for the sanity of the whole of Mankind, we will stop here and not imagine what it smells like

Ok, I had to take this as fast as I can before Kristine kicks or steps on it

Low Quality pictures

Ok, just to short not to tell you that I have degraded all the photos in here just to save precious storage space. The photos you see are linked from my website and there is a limit on how much space I have there. Sorry.

Monday Blues

The weekend went past me like a train with no brakes.

I am not surprised. All I could ever remember for the past two days were myself sitting in front of my Notebook and Kristine's crying.

Yeah, she cried almost the whole day on Sunday, denying us any sleep and gleefully pushing us towards the path of insanity. I am getting worried because she kept staring into walls and ceilings (while I used to only stareat the clouds). All those horror stories I have intentionally missed crept into my mind. But still, it did occur to me that Fatherhood is something I have to face, whether I want to or not. Sometimes when I sleep, I always worry that I would not be able to hear Kristine's cries since I have been told I am not a light sleeper anymore.

The result of the weekend has left me looking more like Jim Carrey being slapped repeatedly with a rotting tuna fish. Its a wonder how I got through Monday.

Kristine looking so a-peel-ing in my arms

Happy New Year

Well, 2005 is upon us. But there is nothing much to look forward to, except seeing Kristine grow. You see, in Malaysia, in 2005, the Tolls for the Highway will increase, and chances are, so would the petrol prices, which then triggers other price rises.

And this time, since the Government has cancelled the New Year celebration, I can finally sleep in peace. There were no Fireworks waking Kristine too. But seeing people enjoying themselves in Bangsar (from the TV), I guess "private" parties were on. I don't blame them because the Tsunami did not hit Kuala Lumpur. But then again, would they care? There were news of Tourists going back to the affected area as saying "Its not their problem". So, who cares? Right.

Tell that to all those who died

Anyway, yesterday, Steven at Toy Wiz was so happy to see me that I bought more HotWheels and he even ripped a collectors guide booklet for me. I wished he did not do that because it contained the two cars which I do not mind getting them for my nex trip. However, safe to say, I do not have to go to other places to look for Hotwheels anymore.

Yes, I am bored