Michelle Allen aka The Drunken Cow

Middletown, Ohio (The Weekly Vice) -- Michelle Allen, a 32 year old Middletown, Ohio woman was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct after she chased neighborhood children around, urinated on a neighbor's front porch and then blocked traffic - all while dressing in a cow costume.

Police were contacted Monday evening after a woman was seen chasing after neighborhood children and interfering with traffic along the 3100 block of Wilbraham Rd. Witnesses also say Allen urinated on a neighbor's front porch, according to the arrest affidavit.

When police arrived, they told Allen to go home and to stay at home for the remainder of the evening.

Instead, police say, Allen was found later that same evening blocking traffic on North Verity Parkway. Officers stated that the woman was verbally abusive to the officers, acted belligerent, used profanity, and smelled of alcohol. Allen also threatened to cause problems in jail if she was arrested.

Allen was taken into custody and charged with disorderly conduct.

She was reportedly still dressed like a cow at her arraignment hearing Tuesday morning, although there was no explanation as to why she was still wearing the costume.

OK, this one got me in stitches.

Its not everyday that you hear such stories but this is udderly insane. I mean, why would a cow dress up as a woman? Its one thing to call a cow, a cow. But its not funny when you call a cow, a woman. Was it suffering from Mad Cow Disease or what? I mean, Halloween is just weeks away and going around the streets with that costume now, is just risking it. Maybe it had a beef with the farmer and was on its way to seek some bovine retribution. Or maybe it just had too much Grass.

But whatever it was, I am very certain the authorities won't get much out of it except for the miscommunication part because drunks always mince their words. Most probably, she would say, "Hoof off" or something in that particular. It would be a big problem for everyone if she said, "I'm horny in jail too"

And I can tell you, the media are having a field day milking this one dry.

Boyhandling the EBF-25 Nerf Vulcan

After our trip to Petaling Street, I highlighted to my wife that I really do need to cut my hair since its already past three months (I think). So, she dropped me off at Bangsar Village and would pick me up when I am done. I think she wants to go home not because of the kids but to try the Assam Laksa we bought.

There is a shop in Petaling Street which is famous for the Assam Laksa. But if I remember correctly, I think there were two. But nevertheless, we settled for the one near the traffic lights, located just right next to the wet market. In fact, its actually more of an alley and even after a decade, it hasn't changed much. They have one or two new helper and the rats are still running all over the plaace, even in broad daylight. I did not see any but my daughter did. Luckily she did not scream.

Anyway, after the haircut, I decided to hop over to Toys R Us for some "updates" on new toys. And they had a Nerf Vulcan on the counter. I presumed it was for another customer, so I did not bother much about but went straight to the Nerf section. Yep, its definitely on sale and just uder RM200 as well. I am tempted to get it but not right now. And then, it rained. I could call my wife to come fetch me or I could wait it out and then walk all the way home. But since I have some time left, I decided to go over to the counter and have a first hand look at the Vulcan. Apparently, they arrived a few days ago and the one sitting on the counter is a customer return because the customer found only 23 out of 25 foam darts. Yeah.

So, because of that, they have to dismantle the toy and return it to Hasbro. And that's where the problm starts. The top handle and the cocking/reload machanism uses snap-on parts which, unfortunately, snaps on permanently. So, both of us (OK, I busybody la) managed to get the handle off but not the cocking/reload orange thingy. And after holding the toyfor a bit, I am not too excited. Sure, the grip and top flip open ON/OFF switch is nice but thats about it. Just like a Richard Clayderman CD, its great to listen to but embarassing to own it.

But I am setting my eye on the Longshot, which the staff told me, everyone was also asking for it but since they do not own Hasbro, its a wait and see game over here. Of course I could scout at eBay but then, its not worth the hassle over postage and Customs.
Ta-da! The meanest NERF gun evar!