Happy Chap Goh Mei

Today is Chap Goh Mei, which marks the second week of Chinese New Year. Traditionally, young girls would throw mandarin oranges into the rive in the hopes of getting a good husband. Pshah!

Nowadays, you can't do this anymore because chances are, you could be fined for attempting to pollute a river and also, for being a litterbug. Not only that, whoever caught these oranges could be a target. For all you know, some overly-excited girls would implant GPS transceivers and bombs into the oranges and start tracking them. If they ended up in the hands of a not-so Mr. Right, the mandarin orange can be remotely detonated. So, be careful when someone gives you a mandarin orange out of the blue before running away......

But with the advancement of genetics, it is possible that in the near future, a mandarin orange that has been encoded with the girls DNA finds itself in the hands of a genetically compatible Mr. Right, will expand itself into a bio-cage trapping the unfortunate male until he has been visually inspected by the said girl. If he is handsome and all, the cage will disintegrate to open the prize and if not, well, suffice to say, that man will be all meat and bones. Literally. The cage is also another way of preventing other suitable girls from getting to the male since there is a very high chance that he is also compatible with other females at large. And what if he is married? Well, I am sure there would be a small competition between the Wife and the girl in a game of good old fashioned catfights in the mud where the winner gets the man. And so, Chap Goh Mei would be a very dangerous time for males, who will always 'disappear' for a day or two until things cool down.

Yeah, I know, its midnight and I need to sleep.

"Daddy, why are you doing this?" (Preparing the Yee Sang)
Asked Kristine. "I am helping Mommy.", I replied. And so,
Kristine summarised, "When I grow up, I will ask my
husband to do this too." [Alamaks]

Lou Hei! Lou Hei!