The RM4000 Light Table

Hello, Mr. Ghana, I need your help, la.
OK, what can I do for you?
I need you to transport a table from A to B
No problem
Its almost eight feet long, four feet white and 30 inches tall, wor.
No problem, when you want it?
This Saturday, can, ah?
No problem, can we do this at 930 in the morning?
Sure, but the table is big, man.
Er, OK. In that case, can I see it first?
Sure but tomorrow (Friday) no one would be there. I took a picture of it, I can eMail to you
Er, Boss, no eMail la, can you fax to me, ah?
OK, no problem

So, for the rest of Friday morning, I wasted my time faxing an A4 picture of a table to them. Fax after fax, it was rejected after every 15 or so minutes. Only when they gave me an alternate number did it get through. Setting the resolution from STANDARD to FINE would only increase your faxing time (and more coffee sessions with the office chick - unless she is married). But this is irritating since I was using different fax machines at different customer places as I was out on the field and it does not help either when their company was using only one incoming line both as the fax line and the office line. Moral of the story, folks, don't fax anything that has more than 40% black in the picture and with everyone sharing the same telephone line.

Dial number XXXXXXXX and faxed
Breep breep "Hello? Hello? . .. .click"
@#$*&!

Dial number XXXXXXXX and faxed
Breep breep "Hello? Hello? . .. .click"
@#$*&!

Hello! I am sending a fax to your Boss.
OK, let me switch on the fax machine first
Dial number XXXXXXXX and faxed
Breep breep "Hello? Hello? . .. .click"

Woi! Your fax machine on or not?
Yeah, its on but no fax la.
I know, what is your fax number?
Its XXXXXXXX
And what is the number you're answering now?
Its XXXXXXXX (same number) . . . Oops. OK, I hang up and wait for fax

And so, after much communications problem, the table finally arrive at our house at abut almost four in the afternoon. I had to communicate with both my friend and the lorry guys by phone as I could not tear myself away from work and we had an important appointment at two (even if its Saturday). My Boss would tear me from limb to everything if he knows I "escaped" to personally coordinate the transport. And so, the whole day, I was calling them for updates.

Ble dep beep beep
Hello? Yes?
Bang, you entered the building already or not? My friend waiting la
We're already but the 3 tonne lorry cannot enter la.Too big
Sure or not? My friend said can wor
Sure la, Bang. Our lorry got (canvas) cover one, so, too big to enter
Ya, hor. Ok do your best.

Ring. Ring.
Hello, your guys here already?
Yeah, they're downstairs, trying to enter the building
OK the lorry can enter through bla...bla...bla...
OK, thanks

Beep, beep, boop, beep, ble deep
Hello?
Yo, bang, when you coming la?
Er, soon Boss, soon. We go problem at the cargo lifts la
Why? Your Boss said no problem one? You should have been here latest by one already
Cannot la, Boss. Table too big and the something something are only six feet
OK, OK. I wait for you la but please hurry, OK?

Woi! Now what time la?
Sorry Boss, we really got problem la. The table too big la to enter lift la
So how?
We're carrying to down, Boss
What! You're 39 floors up! Crazy, ah?
What to do Boss? This is the only way
OK, OK. I won't disturb you anymore. I'll wait for you
OK, Boss

Wow. 3 men carrying a table 39 floors down. This is crazy, man. And they did it in less than three hours. True or not, I cannot say since I was not there. Yes, the table is big. It was designed at the height where you can comfortably spread the Map and look at it while standing up. And it costs them RM4000 to have it custom built. But looking at the construction, the material cost alone cannot even reach the RM1000 mark. The lorry guys and I discussed a bit about the table after it was set up and we both agreed that the carpenter pulled a fast one. For a table that expensive, it would have BOLTS or some removeable mechanism that not only makes a stable table (Ha ha ha) and but easily remove the legs. But no, they were nailed in. And the material is not even solid wood. But since we do not know the actual history of the table, I would not want to comment further eventhough I am very sure of what happened.

Moving into my Dad's working room was another problem. We had
no choice but to remove two of the legs. What we found out at the
stump was not comforting. While they're doing this, I was driving
like a madman to reach a DIY shop for some screws and nails. The
most surprising thing is that when we fixed the legs back on with
screws instead of nails, it was more solid. So, in the end, the Table
was Stable after being Screwed. I refused to let my Dad go ahead
with the plan of sawing off 8 inches per leg. The lorry guy agreed
as well because the end result of a machine cutting the wood and
a person using a saw is very obvious. Not forgetting the fact that
it will make the table warp. Putting the heavy glass on it and some
objects, the glass will crack on the uneven warped edges.

There all connected and lit up! Very nice! And my friend gave me the LCD
monitor for a very good price and I will give it to my Dad so he could see
the better once I save up for a Notebook that he wants. He liked the idea
of the Notebook after visiting his friend whose son was using it to call his
sister in Japan via Skype through Wifi and with webcam summore. I like
the idea too as this would mean we do not have to worry about pulling
network cables all over the hosue (again) since this is not an option as we
forgot to do this while the house was under renovation. Maybe I should
take up Maybank's offer of a credit card where I can pay for the Notebook
by installments.....

Oho! I found another treasure in my Dad's room! So this is where my
lost Enterprise 1701-A was after being missing for two years! Luckily
I took the batteries out before storage or else it would be very bad
(OK, I am thinking of any excuse to break it open and put some radio
control circuits in there, actually. Ha ha ha ha!)

And the Ending? It was not so nice for me after all. The transport fee was RM250 but because these poor (almost dead) guys carried the table for 39 floors, it went to RM400. I was willing to shell out RM300 and a big bag of keropoks but changed my mind. I don't want to piss them off because who knows I might use them again in the near future. Whats more, they're patient with me and even connected the fluorescent lights back on.

The keropoks (crispy stuff) I got were (left to right) Seafood flavoured (RM12.00),
fish sticks (RM10.00), Onion flavoured which is mine(RM8.00) and potato (RM10.00)
So, when the kids come back, they're going to be very very happy except for my wife
and Mom who knows they will litter it everywhere and not eat their meals. Oops.
Compared with the International Standard of Measurement (the Coke can), these
keropoks are cheap (in terms of volume) compared to what you would normally
buy off the shelf.