New Toys II

Hee hee hee hee. More HotWheels toy cars. The ones out of the box are "used" and they're not available on sale in Malaysia........... yet. Gosh. I have so many cars to photograph for my Website soon.

All these for RM28.90 from Toy Wiz (Amcorp Mall)

Squish... squish... squish...

Woooooooo............. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Pump up the Milk

A pump up the Milk
Pump up the Milk
Pump it up a pump it pump it pump it

[Song: Technotronic's PUMP UP THE JAM]

Milk on Demand for RM79.00

Well, someone is going to be very happy tonight. Ha ha

Squish, squish, squish............. whooooooo!!!!

Failure to Plan is a Plan for Failure ...

You know, sometimes when you plan things in detail inside your head in detail, you'd know that some of the things would never come out they way you wanted it to be. But most of the time, that "some of the things" usually turn out to be "all the things". Anyway, I was thinking about taking a few photos of my Back to the Future II De Lorean to replace the wallpaper on my Notebook.

Since I only had the following tools:
1) A 100Watt bulb and a non-removeable fluorescent light
2) Cooking foil
3) Piece of White paper
4) Tripod

And a lot of things went wrong, namely from the battery in the camera going flat and also, lack of imagination, I decided to put Kristine's picture instead.

And don't get me started on the Batmobile. Its a very difficult subject to shoot since its a very long and dark car and also, its a magnet for dusts as well.

This is a toughie. Maybe I should not use macro mode.

How I wished I had this car in full-sized scale

Camera malfunction

Dammit! I don't know what's wrong now but my new FujiFIlm S5500 camera got something loose inside it. Then, when I switch on/off the camera there is s slight gear crunching noise. Haiyo.

This was how my FujiFilm 2800z "died" last March (2003)

Official Announcement

To whom it may concern,

On 18th of December 2004, at 10:03PM, Christine CHOW Kim Lam, weighing 2.75Kg, was born to the parents of CHOW Fook Cheong and Esther Kee Heng Kiau.

And as of 27th of December 2004, at 12:00PM, Christine CHOW Kim Lam is Officially and Legally recognised as a Citizen of Malaysia. Oh, yes, she can now terrorise the whole World with her screams, starting with Malaysia. Heh.

We will not be responsible for any broken hearts, soiled attire and mainly, broken appliances within arm's reach.

Yours sincerely,

Mr. and Mrs. CHOW Fook Cheong

Jaundice Alert!! Part II

So sad to say, Kristine's jaundice reappeared again today. I tried to get her into the Sun but she was screaming her lungs off and also, there wasn't much Sun this morning. Since I am already stressed out by this, my parents offered to send her back to the Hospital for more UV light treatment. The last treatment cost us RM900 or threabouts. Ouch

Since there is nothing much to do, here is a shot of what happens when hair, phlegm and other stuff get mixed in the sink trap for a few days. No wonder the water went away so slowly..........

Ok, the fear is over as the jaundice level was only 161 (via blood test), so the Doctor said everything is fine, and Kristine gets to come back home. Phew!

And as for me, Kristine rewarded me with a trail of half-digested breast milk all the way down to my legs,leaving a nice puddle there.

Kristine's Smile

Merry Christmas!!!

And for the first time, I gave Kristine a breath of fresh air in our garden after I bathed her, and she was so happy that she smiled.

Yeah, she smiled today, in fact, she smiled more than before. (Before that, her smile looks more like an evil snigger. Or maybe, it was an evil snigger after all, with all the poo-poos she let out.)

Me giving Kristine her bath for the first time

This was the best shot I got. Kristine smiles changes very fast

Hotel Assunta

You check into the beautifully decorated Hotel, where the friendly staff at the counter will assist you. After the registration, the Bellboy will take your luggage to the appropriate floor where you will be shown to your room. Your air-conditioned room would be fully furnished, along with the complementary TV, hot drinks, telephone and the usual wonderful view from the window. The bathroom would reveal a nice bath or jacuzzi and the staff would come as soon as you have placed an order on the phone. All this plus the pampering of an expensive Hotel. But if you need any medical assistance, if the House Doctor is not in, you would have to go to the nearest clinic or make an appointment.

Nice, eh? How about this:
You check into the clean and germ-free Hospital, where the friendly Nurses at the counter will assist you. After the registration, the Husband will take your luggage to the appropriate floor where you will be shown your room. Your air-conditioned room would be fully furnished, along with the complementary TV, hot drinks, telephone and the usual wonderful view from the window. The sanitised bathroom would reveal a nice shower and the sexy Nurses (ahem) would come every hour to check on both you and your baby. All this plus the comfort that you are medically safe. But if you need any medical assistance, its either the Nurses or wait for the Doctor to arrive in the morning.

Any difference?

No, I don't think so too. So, during Kristine's re-admission for her jaundice, I have been staying in the Hospital with my Wife for the past two evenings. We take turns sleeping to watch over her and trying to keep ourselves from going blind with the UV light. And in the morning, after a quick shower, its off to the Office again.

And today, Kristine was discharged. One good thing about the Hospital is that I think there is an option to rent the UV lights where we can continue the treatment at home. But knowing myself, things would break apart within minutes in my hands. So, I declined the offer. Anyway, her jaundice levels have subsided, from 257 to 156. But don't ask me how they know because I am sure there is no such thing as a jaundice meter, let alone a colorimeter for measuring the yellowness of the skin. Heh.

A Poo-poo in the hand is worth ..............

You know, when there are only the two of you in an elevator and someone lets it rip, you know its him because, he will have that innocent "Who, me?" on his face when you look accusingly at your friend. Its no point asking your friend to confess because:

1) Your Butt department will not fart without telling your Brain department
2) Ghosts do not fart

With that look on his face and those Bambi eyes, yeah, those Bambi eyes, he will be defending his "innocence" throughout the whole elevator trip. You know its him, he knows its him but the accusation it won't stick. In the end, both of you will have to deal with the bio-gas instead.

So, that was the same with Kristine. Just after her meal, she decided to give me her first present or should I say, her first biological present: A poo-poo in the hand. And she gave me that same "Who, me?" look after that. But suffice to say, I am quite happy, except for the fact that Kristine would do this after each feeding. And sometimes, after a nappy change too, which we have to start all over again.

This is what it looked like. More like creamed wasabi

Jaundice Alert!

Today, both Kristine and Mom are admitted back to the Hospital. We did notice the skin was a bit yellowish but then again, to us, it was normal. Only when my Wife brought her to see the Doctor, (since today was a scheduled follow-up visit) Kristine was confirmed to have Jaundice.

Funnily enough, the Doctor said Kristine was ready to go home despite my insistence of staying just another day in case it (jaundice) really developed. Yeah, everyone believed the Doctor except me.

Oh, well, I am going to go over there soon, after rushing back from servicing my customers

Update: 2045
OK, just came back to take my bath after fetching Mom home. She has to cook dinner (special Confinement Value Meal) for my Wife since the Hospital UV Sun Tan package did not include meals for her. After this, I am going back there, to spend the night with them.

Kristine hates the UV and the eye-patch we made for her. The moment we put her onto the bed, she knows it and would cry. (The irony is, she might be eagerly paying more for this 20 years later). The Nurse told us that although Kristine was fine, Jaundice would not be detected until after a few days for some.

Mommy trying to comfort poor Kristine

Slow motion Rally in Semenyih

"I'll fax you the map, its very easy to ge there"

Yeah, right. So, be warned, when people tell you these things. This is Murphy's Law at its best.

So, when I followed the Map, it was fine. Everything on the map was spot on, and with a 10 metre accuracy. However, what the Map did not say was, for the last 2 Kilometres:

1) There are no tarred roads, only rocks (big pebbles), water and yellow earth
2) The Building is hidden behind the hill
3) You either need a 4x4 or a lorry to continue further
4) The muddy road looked as if a herd of fat hippos tripped themselves all over the place last night
5) If you fall off, there is a nice lake for your swimming pleasure

So, there I was, contemplating whether to go back or not. I was choosing the former because the scenery was so beautiful and I was thinking of coming back the next day with my camera. Heh. So, just to make sure that its the correct path, i gave them a call.

Me: Hello, is this XXX company?
Her: Good Afternnon, this is XXX company.
Me: I was given a Map to your place and I am not sure if this is the route.
Her: [Decribing the route].... so, you just go straight on until you see the white building
Me: White building?
Her: Yes, you see it?
Me: Nope, by the way, its hard for me to cross this path as I have a problem with my car
Her: Haaaaa...........
Me: My car is so lowered I cannot cross the path
Her: Oh... Haaaaa...........

You know, at this time, I am very encouraged to go over the path and strangle her too

This is the one time I really regretted lowering my car as it will be like driving a Formula 1 car on a Rally course. So, for the next gruelling 10 minutes or so, I had to slowly maneuvre the path. I try to imagine I was in a Rally, but with time going sloooooooooooooowwwwly.........

With the Sun's rays reflecting from the whitish yellow earth, it was painful for my eyes and I cannot rest them as this would mean expensive repairs to my car's fibreglass. I can bet you, the lorry drivers are laughing like mad far far away. So, driving 1st gear and with the still wet mud, I can feel the car sliding into deep depressions (which is not so easy to get out of) and the rocks scraping the car underneath.

It was a horrible horrible track. But then again, the scenery with the bright sun, is wonderful. I have never seen such beautiful cliffs eroded by rain.

The mud is OK, but I am worried about looking underneath

This reminds me, I have not washed my car for months. Yes, months

This is what happens when you have a missing mudflap

And the Father ran away.....

OMG! I have never expected such a beautiful package can just make so much chocolate!

[Imagine half a cup of melted cadbury's, mix in a bit of green colouring and voila! First bio-waste from Kristine!!!]

The smell was unbearable, even worse than my meal of Petai and garlic. So, doing what a new-born Father would naturally do, I ran to the other room. It was fine until both Wifey and Mom discovered my disappearance (within seconds). So, I was forced to get some hot water back into the room..........

I tell you, even Fear Factor is no match for this kind of torture.

Moron customer

You know, one thing I hate are people who do not know what is going on, but keeps on shouting on the hopes that the situation for them would get better.

I was busy liaising with the person-in-charge (PIC) regarding the requirments for thier newly installed PBX when this nut, every few minutes kept shouting, "My phone is not working!" or "I can't connect to the Network". He was really getting on my nerves, what with other people nearby who sussed that I was the Phone guy for the day, kept asking things like:
i) Can you do this/program for me?
(At the risk of bypassing your PIC or possibly your Boss, no)
ii) Why when I plug the phone here, it does not work?
(Because the floor plan said, no phone is supposed to be there)
iii) Why is my fax machine not working? It was fine this morning
(Because you switched it off, you moron)
iv) Why is my phone white?
(Because your purchaser is allergic to Red. No, seriously, so that you can tell the difference between a Digital Keyphone and a normal single-line phone, which are meant for non-important slave like yourself)

So, once I got things sorted out, I gave him a test call from the other end of the room. He was suprised his phone actually rang:

Me: Hello, is this extension 102?
Him: Er, yes.
Me: Was there a problem with your phone?
Him: Yes, it was not working.
Me: Really? If it was not working, it would not have rung, right?
Him: .............
Me: Anyway, thank you for using Telekom Malaysia
(The company used other Telco and not Telekom)
Him: Uh, OK.

Then , a few minutes later, I can hear him, "I can't connect to the Network!", which means, now the poor IT Guy is next.

You know, just to irritate him, I could disguise my voice and call in as a Tele Marketeer or IT Support guy to tell him what to do to get his Network link working. Maybe I would ask him to look for all the cables under the desk and yank it all out or get him to move his Notebook to the toilet or something.

New Toys

You know, sometimes when you have itchy hands, you sort of make trouble for yourself. So, here I was, in a shop which I was not supposed to go and I just saw these 4 HotWheel toys which were quite different from the normal ones. So, They told me, I can have it for RM10 for three cars and the fourth one is RM4. I said fine.

While I was paying for the cars, we struck up some small conversation which lead to the HotWheels 1989 Batmobile (designed by Anton Furst). When he told me the price, my eyeballs nearly popped out and hit the wall. They were selling it for RM150, where all places "outside" were selling them for RM299 or so. Yeah, I bought it, guilty as sin.

Little Ms. Engineer (Update VIII)

At 2203, 18th December, 2004, Kristine CHOW Kin Lum came into the World weighing at about 6.1lb (2.75kg). Whew!

After 2 days in the Hospital, it was well worth it. However, seeing how my wife, Esther, suffered (and how bruised was my arm when she grabbed & clawed it), I might agree with her that one is enough.

But being there to witness the actual event, I was so proud and happy and sad and hopeless and nervous (and every other emotions) at the same time.

It all started on Thursday morning (0400) when she told me that her contractions are getting more and more regular. So, we got into the car and went straight to the Hospital. Everything was prepared and therefore, thre was no rushing or panicking. Throughout the day, her contractions were still consistent at 5 minutes while her cervix was still at 10% dilated.

By night, there was no change and therefore, the Doctor would give her some drip/medication in the next morning to help speed up the process. Then her contractions became more and more frequent, which I think is about 3 minutes apart. However, at 1300, the pain was getting more intense so we allowed for epidural. (Little did I know that epidural was though her spine and not the IV as I thought) By 2030, her cervix was at 50%, which I thought was good progress.

Unfortunately, its was getting more and more painful for her and at 80% it was not enough for safe delivery. So, the Nurse (Norhayati) helped her to achieve 95%. I offered my arm for her to grab, which resulted in scratches and bruising, to my total suprise, it did not bleed. By 2130, the Doctor has arrived and the process begins.

It was a bit gory and despite everyone's belief (and to mine) I did not faint on the spot. But let me tell you this, red liquid and vacuum suckers definite do not mix. The Doctor pulled the baby (via vacuum sucker thingy instead of forceps) out by timing with the contraction. She pushed and pushed while I encouraged her. It was quite fast and was over in less than one and a helf minutes. I keep thinking about the blood loss which the Doctor told me, is at the rate of one litre per minute.

Since the baby's head was soft, where the vacuum sucker thingy was attached to her head, it formed into a big lump as if the baby had a bee-hive hair-do. I was quite excited and kept taking photos until the Nurse wheeled her into the Nursery.

Anyway, the baby is quite alert and has quite a temper (like me). And by this morning, I spoilt her by holding her too long. Now she wants people to hold her to sleep. Esther also recovered very quickly this morning while I am still tired. Happy but tired.

Deep in my Heart, I am lucky it was not a boy because I do not know how to smoke a cigar. Heh

Here are more shots:

[There she is, all cleaned up and looking fresh]

[Father and Daughter]

[She loves to sleep a lot]

[My Parents or should I say, Kristene's Grandparents]

[Three Moms and a Girl]

Little Ms. Engineer (Update VII)

Its past midnight now, and I was curteously advised by the Nurses to get lost since there are no available beds for nervous hasbands and the Visitor's Room has been locked for the night. There is no change in her contractions which are about 5 minutes apart and by the time I left her, its getting stronger and she can't really sleep with all these, what with the Nurses checking on her every hour too.

Because of my Gout, she had to rub my hand every now and then (except during contractions where her rubbing is stronger). So, both of us were moaning in pain inside the room, and mine was louder. I think the Nurses outside thought I was trying to experience the pain with her.

We did receive a few happening calls, (where everyone asked what happened). It was very painful for her to experience contractions whe whole day long while the baby is taking her own sweet time playing the Diva.

Anyway, this morning, she was given some painkillers (so did I) and was vomiting after breakfast. And she did mention last night that the Doctor is going to give her some medication to speed up her contractions today.

Little Ms. Engineer (Update VI)

Well, I am back from the Hospital and she is still there. Her contractions are every 5 minutes apart since 4AM this morning. So, there is no change.

Most of the day, we spend reading papers, flicking swtiches (OK, I was the one) which we're not supposed to, moving about and nodding our heads like those bobbing head toys when the Nurses advised/talked to us.

So, I got back, had an hour's' sleep and then after dinner, I am going back there again. But I am getting worried now as my right hand just suffered another Gout attack and I might not hold the baby real tight when she comes out.

It could be fun if I can spend the night there as I dun want her (to face this) alone

Little Ms. Engineer (Update V)

Ok, its now slightly after 4:30 in the morning and she is saying the contractions are nearly 5 minutes apart. Within 10 minutes, everyone has woken up and is now ready to go to the Hospital.

Little Ms. Engineer (Update IV)

OK, she had some very strong stomach cramps in the early morning and I failed to time them since they were so far apart and I fell asleep a lot. She insist its just pain in the lower area while I said its contraction. Luckily Rachel SMSed me and also, from her experience, its contraction. But she (my Wife) now said the pain has subsided and she's going off to sleep. Lucky her.

Damn! Now my right hand is painful from Gout and also I have a full day today.

Its going to be anytime now and I' wished I got a Video cam...............

Ants in my car II

Well, they are it again.

You know, when you're in a Cruise, you would always like to go to the top of the ship for the fresh air and the smell of seagull farts. This is very different from travelling in an aeroplane where the Captain tells you to be quiet and sit down by switching on the seat-belt sign. In a ship, you're free to go anywhere, so long as you do not go overboard (physically and literally). Anyway, the moment you have finished opening your luggage and spilling everything all over place, you'd be rushing off to the top deck. Well, if you're not, your friends or some obscene human being who unfortunately happens to be your relative would be having a Tug-o-War with you and the ship.

So, while you're all up there, you'd be enjoying the view of miles and miles of water all around you. Its almost the same as being in a swimming pool except that no one farts in the water. So, once you're up there, the next thing that would be forming inside your brain would be, apart from your body's enthusiastic reflex of donating (throwing) your last meal (and your Cadburys) to the Sea, would be to get more food. What better else to enjoy the Sun and Sea with more even more food.

So, here I am, driving at 60kmh in Sungai Buloh when I noticed two ants running around inside the dashboard. (They're imagining its a ship) Well, there is nothing much I can do at this point except to look at them. OK, there is a transparent platic between them and me and they know this. I'll bet they're gesturing their mandibles in an obscene manner at me.

A few minutes later, four more ants decided to join in the fun. And there you have, six ants running about in the dashboard, without a care in the World. Like the Cruise ship, once they have settled in, they decided to have a picnic. Yes, they decided to bring a dead bug into the dashboard through the Odometer counter. For the next few minutes, they're trying to decide which way to go and also, who is going to win the Tug-o-War.

I know this is distracting because looking at the dashboard while driving is dangerous. Its the same as trying to stop your passengers from winding down the window during the rain when you farted. Very dangerous indeed. So, the only way to get rid of them would be to use the Speedometer's needle to swipe them off.

I had to wait at the road side for the ants to go into position. Once they're at the 50kmh area, I pressed on the go-go juice and see the needle swing.

Rats. They scuttered into the 200kmh region. There is no way I can swing the needle that far due to the fact that it would take me ages to reach it since its a 1.6 and also, this happens to be a 60kmh (Or 100kmh to others) stretch. I can still imagine them doing obscene gestures with their mandibles at me.

Later, I think they got bored because there is only one ant left on the dashboard who is pulling the dead bug and fighting gravity at the same time. Oh, here's another ant going frantically around, looking for his friend. I think they're trying to find each other:

Ant #1: Ernie! Where are you?!
Ant #2: emmrg morgh mhrrgh
Ant #1: What? I can't hear you?
Ant #2: Ismmgf mmeght mmmmg mgggg!!!!
Ant #1: What? I still can't hear you!
Ant #2: I sai.... ah f@*&!!!!(The dead bug fell off)
Ant #1: Oh, there you are. You're only 30 feet away (Ant scale, that is)

Little Ms. Engineer (Update III)

OK, she's not due yet as the Doctor told her not to come in. But we might have to make a decision if the little miss decides to come during the weekend which there is no one to help deliver. So, I'll be on alert until Thursday or so. I'll just have to notch this as a False Alarm

All in all, what a scare today.

Little Ms. Engineer (Update II)

OK, I have settled most of the things now, and my friend told me not to go outstation today. So, I'll just sit in the house, be a little guy and wait for my Wife to do what she wants to do before noon

Little Ms. Engineer (Update I)

Just a few minutes ago, she told me what her Sis-in-Law told me:

These are the signs that the show will start in a few hours time.

Of all the days I have to go outstation (300KM away)

Little Ms. Engineer is on the way!!!

Of all the days I have to go outstation (300KM away)

She waited uptil I woke up this morning, to tell me what happened at 5AM:**censored**. Just like 9 months ago. She gave me a book to read and it showed that its the first sign that it would be happening this week. I just wonder if its going to be the same day as Bankokboi's or not.


The good side is, that I will be passing through her hometown, and perhaps get some durians and chee cheong fun but I would be coming back very late at night.

What if the little one wants to come out by then? I won't be there to help.


Of all the days I have to go outstation (300KM away)

This is not how its supposed to be!!!!

Most of the times, when you have friends, you always think well of them and also wished that their lives are good. Anything bad that happens to them, you'd feel miserable and do your best to help them get out of it. Sometimes, there are things that are beyond help.

We were happily waiting for our Nasi Lemak and Pulut (something) when the call came. At first, she sounded cheerful upon hearing of our Baby's schedule. Then, my friend of seven years hit me with the bad news. It was so bad that even a ton of bricks (felt like feathers) were nothing compared to her bombshell.

After more than four years of marital bliss, they have separated. This is their second month.

I have not heard of his side of the story but coming from her, it seems that this their third incident and this time, there is no turning back. I know the couples quite well and both are have strong opinions on how things are to be done. Her one and only wish was to have a good family. She worked hard to ensure everything at home is well taken care of, so that he can come back to a nice home everyday. She even helped manage the Video shop (before it was sold off) and even tried to be a good Christian Wife. Then again, maybe she tried too hard.

For him, I also know him well, (but not anymore, as people change) in the sense that he must have total control in everything, his Will obediently followed and no talk-backs. Also, he loves new things, which he can/must have and then throw it away once it becomes too troublesome or "noisy" to maintain. I rememeber him telling me how hard and dedicated he was, in pursuing her, how she was the only one meant for him. Now, it all comes to nothing, but mere words.

There were signs which she chose to ignore (due to her trust on him) but in the end, it cannot be helped once she saw the competitor. She spoke a lot but I was shocked at the episode that involved a beer bottle.

Who was right or wrong does not matter anymore. One thing for certain is that the biggest losers of this Love Story gone sour, are their two children who does not even realise what has happened. And most of us thought that these are the kinds of things that only happen to Western countries and movies.

When the time is right, I know he will tell me the side of his story...........sigh.

What a year, first, I resigned (under the excited advise of my Brother-in-Law who then kicked me out of his company), then I had a friend who died in a road accident, another who separated due to a non-commital husband and now this.

Your Parking Space is belong to us

One of the joys of driving a car is that you can go almost anywhere in Malaysia (as long there are roads, no landslides and enough money for Tolls). But once in a while, you need to stop the car, to give the engine a rest (Ok, its actually an excuse for you to go wee-wee) .

So, you need to find a parking spot. You can literally park anywhere, as long as it is legal and not piss other drivers off.
1) Parking bays are defined with a bright yellow rectangle which is big enough for a car.
2) Big yellow rectangles with diagonal lines are not meant for group parking but its called a "Yellow Box" for some other reason, especially where there are traffic lights at each corners.
3) Double parking is not recommended as your perception of "few minutes" are very different to other people.
4) If you see some parking meters obscenely placed next to the bay, insert some coins and think of it as vending machine or a countdown timer for your parking. (OK, think of it as City Hall donation machine).

Outdoor parking spots are fine except for some very minor issues:

1) Birds training for their dive bombing missions.
2) Other birds taking the concept of outdoor toilets literally.
3) Dogs mistaking your car for a Hydrant/Food/Blank canvas.
4) Other people who forgot that their car doors are much much longer than yours.
5) Imaginative people with antenna fetish.
6) Mr. Sun is trying change the colour of your car (and the shape of your Cadbury chocolate bars).

But for indoor parking, its a different matter entirely. You really have to consider a lot of other things, namely:

1) Parking after 12:00 at places such as Sungei Wang, Ikano, 1-Utama, Mid-Valley, etc. are really asking for trouble.
2) Weekends and School Holidays do not mix.
3) Dogs mistaking your car for a Hydrant/Food/Blank canvas.
4) Other people who forgot that their car doors are much much longer than yours.
5) Imaginative people with antenna fetish.
6) Wheel clamps are not essential car parking accessories.

But what really irks me are those drivers who have yet to park their car. And they can be classified as:

1) The Tourist
The tourist are a strange breed who actually enjoy driving their car all over the parking area just to find a spot. The tourist does not mind how far or how terrible the spot is, as long as they can park their car. They can spend more than half an hour for this and pity the passengers who are with the Tourist. The smarter ones actually know the whole floor plan of the place.

2) The passive Stalker
This one really takes the cake. The will wait in the bay, "taking" the whole row as theirs. So, this type of stalker will wait at their "territory" until they see you at your car. Then they will conveniently put on their signal/indicators to "chope" their spot. You see, like other forms of booking/claims (in Malaysia, is "chope" as in "chope first") there is an unwritten rule* that once the item/seat/place is taken, you cannot take it. Other Stalkers who sees the signal would have to move off. These people are quite calculative because, they do not need much effort to get your space and also with minimum amount of fuel spend. On the other hand, time is ticking because parking charges are by the hour.

3) The aggressive Stalker
The passive Stalker would slowly cruise the whole are and once they spot you going for your car (never mind if you have tons of stuff to carry), they will quicky follow you. This has a twofold effect:
A) Psychological Terror
While you're walking, you will be consciously thinking if the stalker is either admiring your bum or your shopping. So, in the end, you can see some people either walking with their stuff in front of them or using stuff to cover their bum

B) Indirect Pressure
With the car behind you, you would actually feel bad/pressured to walk faster so that they will not horn you. Maybe Marathon walkers train this way.

The more impatient ones would actually drive up to you and asks you where your car is, indirectly saying "C'mon, you moron! Walk faster, I want your space!".

4) The Snatcher
Well, this one is really aggressive. This happens when they think they spotted their prey first, ignoring the "chope" rule and even the one-way traffic direction. They would move in before the other car has a chance, which usually results in car bodywork re-design, loud horning and colourful languages. All in al, in the end, you have two cars head to head, as if they're about to play "chicken", all right in front of you for your viewing pleasure. Some drivers who are kind enough, would move their out car in the direction of the aggressor, thereby blocking thier way and let the "rightful" car in. Some would refuse to partake and therefore lock their cars and go back into the shopping complex.

But the worse is yet to come. You see, once you have reached your car, you need time to put your stuff (or unwilling passengers) into the car. This can take from a few seconds to minutes. However, with the other car waiting for you to vacate the space, (and with Murphy's Law) chances are, they would place their car strategically in such a way to block other cars whus creating a traffic jam and you have no choice but to stuff your stuff, get everyone into the car, put on your belts, find the darn parcking ticket and move off, all within the space of 100 seconds or less.

For the past week, I had two encounters, both of them Stalkers.
1. I was carrying the newly bought baby's mattress to the car when this guy (in the car with his parents and all) drove up to me and asks me where I parked my car. Once I showed him the spot, he was all eager to go there until I said that I still need to fetch my wife two floors above. I can't lie to him because it is not easy to outrun an angry driver while holding the mattress

2. Coming out from Sungei Wang's 6th floor (famous for Hobby Toys and Gundam Models) and onto the parking lot, I had the misfortune of being spotted by a stalker on the other side. He saw me and judging from the sounds of his engine, he was really gunning for it. So, I quickly went into my car and ducked. The guy was so excited that he forgot the exact spot where my car was and after a few minutes of searching, moved off.

Countering Tourists and Stalkers
Yes, it is possible to put salt into their ice-cream and here's how:
1) When you go for your car, never walk in a straight direction but in a zig-zag way, going between other cars as much as possbile.
(You'd do this if there was a snake chasing after you too)
2) If you are too near to your car, look confused and go in another direction, as if you have forgotten where you parked your car. You can practise this act at Mid-Valley or KLCC. Then again, you might not have to as a lot of people tend to get lost there anyway.........
3) Wave your hand to them, signalling you're not going off. This is the smae type of wave when eager salespeople approach you while you're eating and when asked for donations.
4) Carry a bottle/wrench and open the your car's bonnet while looking distraught (or confused).
5) If all fails, just faint on the spot or wave your arms frantically as if your armpits have fleas

All in all, I wonder if its actually better to leave the car at home and take the LRT/Taxi/Bus.

* - If I find out who wrote this, I'll murder them

New Toys

Ok, I waited years for this and when one of my friend's partner's shop was selling this, I really had to go for it. (OK, I saved a bit of cash) It was selling for RM299. I saw this the first time in 2001 and it was selling for RM250, which, was a bit steep for me. But today, I really made up my mind to get it, once and for all.

Update: A week later after I got it, some other shop reduced it to RM270. &@%*# !!!!!!

Mickey Mouse loves Toshiba

I am sure that at one point in your life, you would have smelt something rotten. The kind of rotten where you can see those maggots crawling around, like some yellow Command & Conquer soldiers crawling inside the game. I can remember this because I was the only little tike who brought his lunch-box to school and forgot to eat the Egg sandwiches during recess. I was also the only little tike who forgot all about the lunchbox until a few days later. By that time, you can actually see the Tupperware bloating with all the decomposing gases building up inside. And the smell is worse than my fart.

By the time I entered the premise, I was hit with that oh-so-familiar scent. The Salespeople there noticed the smell but did not know what the heck it was. Boy, talk about stupidity.

So, I went about my work and that was the first mistake. Yep, when I opened the Toshiba PBX, there was a small little rat looking right back at me. Just barely 5 inches, it snuggled up among the cables. It was so cute, so small and .......... ugh, so dead. Then it hit me, there is a dead rat stuck inside the Toshiba PBX and which created the whole stinky-poo for days.

I knew things were getting worse when I tapped on the PBX, the rat did not move. And when I tapped on its head, the skin sort of slide away to the other side.

So, finding a plastic bag, I tried to pull it away but only managed to tear the fur.
Yucks Yucks

And some salesguy behind me was commenting about not pulling too hard or else the whole head would come off. (At this time, I was imagining the scene where Oogie Boogie was unravelled by Jack Skelington in "The Nightmare before Christmas".
Maggots, squishy rotting guts and bones too)
Yucks Yucks Yucks

So, for the next half hour, I was debating whether to take it out by myself or just call for help. Never being a fan of Fear Factor, so I chose the latter (in the form of the cleaning lady). Heh.

Ants in my car

Today is a weird day. I had to visit at least 6 customers, mostly to bugger them for their autographs on our D.O.s and invoices. But that was the least of my problems.

It started out beautifully, the car was humming contentedly, even with the air-con on. Yeah, the air-con; one of the most important car accessory for a Malaysian car. You can take out the chrome trimmings and leather seats and other what-nots but never ever take out the air-con, even if it means working 10 years to pay for it. Apart from providing creature comforts to the unfortunate passengers, its also a lifesaver. Countless of times, it has saved me from drinking lukewarm Coke* and melted chocolates on the seats. Want to know how Imagine sitting (fully dressed, OK, you can imagine you have your best clothes on) in a sauna while holding a bucket with your hands and pushing those lovely little coals/ash with your legs. That's how it feels when you're stuck in a typical Malaysian traffic jam WITHOUT the air-con**. Ok, forget the coals. Shifting gears and braking are never that painful (tiring, yes) unless you happen to own a car with auto transmissions. Not even the M&Ms would survive such heated torture reserved only for Desert Camels who have nothing else better to do.

Anyway, like I said, it was a beautiful day. Even the car MP3 player was playing to correct S.H.E (courtesy of Uncle Ho****) songs. OK, I admit it. I can't even understand what they're singing since I am Mandarin-challenged but the way I was tapping the steering and rocking in a seat, other drivers would think I am either trying to save handphone calls by sending Morse-Codes or there are ants in my pants.

Hmmph. Ants.

There are Ants in my car. I'm not sure how they got there but I am convinced that they ousted the local crockcroach and took over the car sometime last year. They are tough, I tell you. Tough. They are so tough that (maybe its my imagination) I can't help wondering how a Fire Ant's head got stuck in the car's speedometer. And they're fast too. I bought a big 1.5 Litre bottle of Mirinda Apple (as lunch) and while drinking it straight on like a Gentleman (OK, more like gulping like a pig), it splashed onto my shirt and the car's interior. I had to put it back onto the floor (because it helps when you're driving). And within minutes, the ants were crawling all over the place. Its a torture when you're trying to drive, swat the ants off and also dig your nose*** at the same time.

From there on, the day got worse and I had to throw away .3 Litres of carbonated apple juice made from all those fresh chemicals and artificial flavours (which was probably mixed from a big test tube somewhere).

I shudder to think if they have built a nest in the car................

* - OK, I wanted to say Pepsi Twist but not many people would know what it is.
** - You know, since its that hot, maybe I could wrap some fish and onions in aluminium foil, put it on top of the car's engine and have a nice lunch after the Jam is over.
*** - I can't understand why the ants never go for my yellow and sticky booger, which would be nice because while they're at it, you can flick both of them out of the car.
**** - Uncle Ho, a term for illegal CD/VCD/DVD sellers

First Blog

Am I jumping into the bandwagon?

Seems blogging is the "in-thing" at the moment but like all fads, they will be gone faster than you can finish your 1000 litres of Pepsi. I used to write suff in my diary religiously until I realised that:

1) Only Pharmacists can read my hand writing
2) The fresh crisp clean diary it too crisp and clean to waste on
3) My pen runs out of ink faster than the leads from my mechanical pencil
4) I get cramps between my thumb and fore-finger.
5) I can type faster than I write
6) Those who read your Diaries are the people you least expected them to read your Diaries
7) Tipp-Ex smudges are no fun

Anyway, since I have (accidentally?) registered myself into this site out of curiousity, I have no choice but to apologise in advance should you go insane reading my stuff.

Why Oh!Penions?

Well, its like "Oh, my God! I am writing my opinions (insane ramblings) with an electronic QWERTY pen."
And it has nothing to do with onions (my favs) even if the articles made you cry.

There you go.