Going to Petaling Street

Since we're still on Holiday, we decided to go to Petaling Street after showing my Wife how to get to a certain place from her school. Anyway, this will be quite an experience for the girls who have never been to this iconic place in KL before. And at six in the evening, its already quite crowded. Carrying a bag and an umbrella while holding Kristine in a crowd is quite a challenge but we persevered. Still, for old time's sake, I wanted to lose myself into the streets but now, things have changed. A lot. So, its not safe to do that anymore or leave the kids alone even for a few seconds for that matter.

Lots of people here and there and there are so much
things to look at and buy, even though its not real

There is a reason why they put the titles in a file and lay
them on a metal display grill. Because if they get
caught, those are just paper and if they need to run
away, I guess the grill is very light.
(I bought a copy of Kung-Fu Panda as promised to
Kristine.) The disks are not there but they have a runner
to get it for you. Do not be fooled by their pity or the sales
pitch to get you to buy more than what you needed. Stick
to the plan or else you'd lose a lot of money. This is very different
from a normal brick-and-mortar Uncle Ho branch

This girl is amazing. She can slice the watermelon,
cut them and put them into the plastic bag in seconds.
If I had a video camera, you would be amazed.

How much is this?
What? RM30.00
Sure or not?
RM7.00, la.
Cannot la. RM10
(Since I nearly dressed like on of those sellers there.....)
Wei, my shop up there sell RM5 only la
OK, OK. RM 5
Thanks and bye.
(I quickly cabut in case he wants to find my "shop")

The one where the car would not start

Wife: Oho, so you're finally awake.
Me: Erhm, yeah.
Wife: Go take a look why the car cannot start. I think the battery's flat.
Me: Sure or not? The battery is still new wor
Wife: Go take a look. Now.

Me: OK. OK

Hmmm....... strange. The dashboard is reading everything OK
but when I crank the engine, its dead.

Aha! I know what happened already! Problem solved!

Me: OK, car is fine now
Wife: What? So fast? What happened?
Me: Someone put the gear in Drive la. So cannot start. I know someone do that

Wife: And I know the Wok is hot
Me: OK, OK. My fault. Happy now?

Me: Ooh. All for me?

Wife: You don't come and kacau-kacau. Here, this is yours
Me: . . . . .

REAL advise when having SEX

OK, so I can't sleep and after the trip today, my mind was very active. Maybe its the fresh air or the hilly winding roads or the new experiences, I can't stop thinking about a lot of creative things. And I just thought of this a few minutes ago since I really am quite alert.

This is not a Top10 list but the small little things you ought to know when you're in THAT mood. And its not necessarily in that order.

-When you're giving her pleasure down there, do not ever barf your dinner INTO her.

-When you're nibbling at her mammary glands, make sure you do not have a running nose

-Never ever confess that you bathed your dog when she starts to get itchy all over her body

-You can only smoke AFTER doing it and not before, especially when you want to kiss her

-You cannot burp when you French kiss her

-Never ever surf the Internet after doing it because she is not just an object....... Oh, dammit....

-When she is enjoying it immensely, don't tell her about the huge collection of genital warts on your stick

-Learn to tell the difference between sexual lubricants and those heat generating rubbing ointment for muscle pain in the dark

-Contrary to the belief, any kind of plastics are never good substitutes for a condom

-If you need to do it while showering together, remember to wash the soap off your bodies first unless you think seals gliding on ice in the TV is funny

-Never ever take her from behind when you're both near a cliff, a window or in any high places

-It is alright to cry, feel soppy and lovey dovey unless you're not a woman

-There is a reason why it is better to do it in the dark especially if you have skin disease or very long nostril hair with dandruff

-The Karmasutra is way better than your Secondary School Biology text books but you do not necessary have to read them unless you're really from Mars (or Venus)

-Never ever read Playboy magazines before doing it or you're really going to be very unhappy afterwards

-Be alert about sexual roleplaying games which involves titles such as Black Widow, Aliens, Yoda, Boba Fett in the Sarlacc Pit, Pon Farr and any other titles with the word Death

-Never ever light candles all over the place especially when both of you have a lot of hair

-Never ever trust the Ejaculation Method. Its cheaper to get condoms in the long run

-Do not leave your sanitray pads unwrapped and cook tomato-based beef pasta on the same day

-The best method of birth control, after the condom, is not the Pill but working out the financial and emotional cost of having kids

-Never ever let her play with carrots, cucumbers and brinjals or you will never feel anything in her. Ever.

-Sake, Wine or other forms of alcohol is meant to be drunk or used for cooking and nothing else

-If you like to place sushi on her naked body, make sure they do not have wasabi in them

-Remove the thorny stalks from the flowers if you plan to seduce her in bed later

-It is not a nice idea to cover her with honey in a bed full of rose petals and have a pillow fight later

-Phallus jokes are out. Just get to the point.

-Do not give her Paracetamol when she has a headache

-If you have kids, make sure they have their own bedrooms

-Never ever let her see your Movie Prop or booger collections before ANYTHING

-And, make sure you remember her name all the time, especially when you're married or are going to