Uncle Ho's Customer Loyalty Programme

Hey, brother!,

Wei, hoh boh? So, you not happy, ha? Haih, who not happy?
Petrol price go up. Even my kuey-teow also go up. Everything go up.
All my mah-chais complain also la.
How to deliver stock when petrol price go up?

Tell them to use motobike, they also dun want. Look more like Pizza Hut people onli, they say.
When Police chase-chase ha, they use legs also can catch. But never mind la. Tat one not your problem.

So, my good-good tai-lou Boss, Unker Ho, like everyone be happi-happi onli. So, you know what he do, ah? You dem kau right, man. He say, hor, "Everyone sad, why not watch DVD? After watch-watch, sure feel good-good one".

So, I am the UH Customer Service Boss, give special promotion to you. We start Customer Loyalty Plogram, OK? You buy from us, we gip you Loyalty card. One DVD, one chop or sign la. When card full, we gip you one free DVD.

Good, hor?

Not everyone can get this card one. So, we gip onli you, our spesial customer.

But don't gip those bast.... er, competitors to chop-chop the card la. They dem kau chop your card with knife one and maybe your head too.

So, you waiting for what? Come quick-cuick la. Nyamuk also sleep alreadi ler.

Yours sincerely,

Ham K. Chan
UH Customer Service Division

The tenth one is free! But its maybe DTS version, OK?

Today, the Bed. Tomorrow, the World!!!

Ha ha ha! I can climb up to the bed now!

I didn't know Daddy loves black spaghetti

Ooops. You caught me with one of Daddy's figures

I am trying to look for something here.........

OK, I can't find it. Goodbye now, I have to go out and kacau everyone

Our 48th year of Independence

Malaysia gained its Independence from the British on 31st of August, 1957.


When I was young, it meant a lot to me because I believed that we, as Malaysians can finally be free and stand on our own two feet. I believed that with our own hard efforts and Metropolitan citizens, can finally be recognised as SOMEBODY in the World.

Fast forward 18 years later, I realised how wrong I was.

- As long as you are not one of them, you're still second-class Citizen, not among the Price of the Earth as promised by the late Tunku.
- Independence Day is just another excuse for people to sell flags and have big fireworks (even though its banned).
- Independence Day is also another excuse for Mega Sales and people to go jamming at shopping complexes
- Indepenced Day is also a time for creative houses to make tear-jerking patriotic advertisements
- Independence Day is just a Holiday to commemorate a successful petition against the British to tell them to get lost after they have helped in building the Nation and also keeping the Communists at bay
- Its also a day for me to sleep in late

Then when I got the chance to read the papers, I had a shock. Our so-called National Anthem is nothing more than either a Hawaiian Song (Mamula Moon) or some French Melody. Its origins is still unclear. Only that the lyrics were written into it by our own people.

So, its nothing more than a re-badged song. Sounds very familiar like our local Proton and Perodua cars.

No wonder we are Malaysians are nothing more than just copying and improving other people's work. We have no originality nor the brains to do R&D.

What the Fuck.

So, don't talk to me about Patriotism and what I can do for my Country. A country where cycling Japanese troops just took over within weeks and sank some Bristish Warships that were aiming the wrong way in the process.

Anyway, here are the sources: