Dear God

Letter to God

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address.

He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment..

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?


The postal worker was touched.. He showed the letter to all the other workers.

Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.


Kristine the Artist

This is Kristine. See Kristine
using my Pentel Ergonomix

She is drawing.

See her draw.

And what did she drew?

Yep, her yellow Weenie the Pooh with chest hairs
(I'll bet this would fetch 10 sen at the auctions)

Breath Freshener

Guess what?

I love onions

Oh, yes, I really do!

And here's some I 'stole' earlier when my Mom's not looking in the kitchen

Oh, OK, this was my third attempt.

Nom... nom... nom...

Oh-oh. Now my breath is stinky!

Me Wifey no likee

So, after a few sprays, everything is alright again

I bought it not because it has a free teeth whitener free gift but because of the design of the spray. Its thin, has 1.5cm diameter and would not look out of place in a Sci-Fi prop with its blue liquid once you tear off the labels.


So I lied.

I did not use the breath freshener

Now my Wife is sleeping 20 feet away from me...