The Early Years
When I was a kid, right up to my Forties, I was always fat. Maybe fat isn't the word I was looking for but I would feel when the word obese was being mentioned. I actually did not notice I was fat until when I was about 11 or so where the metal clasps to my short pants always come undone. And there were always holes near the crotch which rubbed my thighs raw.
Stretch that to a few more years but for a boy at that age, I was never aware of these problems or how it was linked to my obesity. That is, until I started going to tuition and there and then, I was started to be more self-conscious. But it still did not occur to me what caused all these chubbiness.
Maybe it was the Water
OK, I do eat a lot as most of the food cooked by my Mom was delicious. However, as I was the first born, I was also given the best choice of meat, usually by my late Grandfather wherever we attend one of his big massive Dinners in the City when he comes over. Heck, even when we're dining. So I kind of accepted it but as I grew older, it became tiring to the point of embarrassment. Apart from the food, I guess I do drink a lot of soft drinks too since my Grandfather did own a drinking spot cum Restaurant. Anything sweet within reach is well, game.
The Turning Point
When I was into my late 20's, I was sent off Overseas for further study. Anyway, the end result was that we do take a lot of photos and I realised, I was the short and fat guy. We were in a boarding house so more of less, the food has been well taken care of, with the occasional instant noodles to tide me over if I am still hungry before bedtime. By this time, my self-consciousness was manifesting itself to the point that I started to feel both socially and academically insecure.
Luckily I do have a great friend there but I do realise that he is also not necessarily be there for me all the time as he does have other friends. Going through the years alone and facing its consequences helped created a monster. At that point, I was still unaware and wondering why Life was so strange. But deep inside, I knows it has to change yet I feel more comfortable wallowing in the warm comfort of the monster. Maybe I can call it a friend?
This is me
So, there I was, a short and fat chubby guy who is socially awkward and insecure. Always double checking on the self-made decisions and comparing them with the majority and yes, the quiet guy in the corner. Maybe I can just wing it in Life by following the Rules and not stand out too much, something I guessed what my Late Mom wanted. Or maybe, that was what she thought it was the best since I was so withdrawn and quite as I grew up.
But it wasn't until in my early 30's that I started to explore things (and failed the course). I was so obsessed in being thin and healthy that my weight plummeted to 55Kg when I returned. I mean, I was swimming at least 3 times a week, cycle all the time and diverted all the food to milk. It's good right? To me, this is the way to be free of the monster. No more feeling embarrassed when I am not fat, eh?
The only problem was, there was no one I could turn to on how to be healthy and strong. The irony was that the Library was only a good source of Sci-Fi literature and music CDs. The only starting place which I did not look. So yeah, I ended up being a skinny guy (like one of those Ethiopian victims as described by my Mom) at 55Kg, lots of veins in the hands (my indication of healthy and skinny). I stupidly confirmed my theories when one day, I ran a fast 100m without breaking a sweat not was my heart beating fast.
This is not me
After managing to get a Degree, I started work and forgot all about my college days (of trying to be thin and healthy). And I though I was still that thin guy and all. But no. And now a grown chubby guy with a lot of hair. And by the time I was about to get married, I actually found myself ballooning thanks to the newly promoted 'deskjob' in the office. Yeah, I used to go to the Fields but now, I am sitting behind a desk, as a technical consultant to the Sales Team.
The only solution I could think of, in terms of slimming, was to eat less. Ain't no time for Gyms and exercises.
Is this me?
Fast forward decades later, I am still a little chubby. But my weight goes up and down. The weight kind of swings around the 110Kg mark. But as I grew older, there is a marked decrease. It was not until the Pandemic where we were in a Lockdown that I shed the 20Kg compared to my colleagues who had the opposite effect.
The Covid19 also did a number on my body where I saw the weight went down to the eighties. And now, my current job where I try to walk about 11,000 steps a day, whether I want to or not, here we are...
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| That's about 75.5Kg |
