How to feed a tree

First, you feed the rat with extremely nutrient rich pellets. Once its full, you need to tenderize it. In this process, each crushed pellet would release a tenderising agent which helps accelerate the process. Once done, you plant the rat into the soil....

Warning: Due to some irregularity, certain batches of pellets have been irradiated with Strontium-90. Please contact 1-800-OMG to arrange for a product recall. You will be reimbursed with another two pack of rat pellets. However, if you notice the tree has changed positions every morning or some of your night-shift staff could not be found, even during pay day, please call 1-800-CARNIVOROUSTREES immediately and vacate the building in an orderly manner.

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