Anyway, I was planning to have my hair cut at the end of April (or May) because I sort of realised that if I only go there every month, they would only trim my hair which I can say, if I collected all of them, there would still be enough to re-hair a small rat which suffered cuttus-accidentalus. So, why not visit the hairdressers every 2 months, I say. Judging from their annual renovations, I'll bet you that most of the renovation funds came out from my wallet.
Anyway, since today was a Public Horriday, my Wife decided to trim her hair and being a good husband ( or driver, ha ha) I decided to follow along sans my iPaq. Everything got off to a fine start; my Wife was ushered to a seat while I fend off cute girls with sharp scissors wanting to cut my hair. After bettling my way to the bench, I was safe. Or so I thought.
In less than the time it takes for a person to spit out a chunk of KFC's Curry Chicken, this weird lady came over and sat next to me. Ok, I can tell you that she is beautiful and very friendly (Which set my Alarm Bells ringing). So, before I can get away from her, she started a conversation.
She was quite forthcoming with her stories (I found out afterwards she was drunk) about:
A) She is very loyal to her husband and would not eat until he come homes (even late at night)
B) She won't eat until he has eaten (even at midnight)
C) Husbands likes to play around
D) As a Wife, she has to depend on him
E) So, she is separated and don't give a fuck about men
F) She kept giving me her phone number
G) -CENSORED-
So, my Wife quickly stepped and ASKED me to go for a haircut instead, citing its only RM29, one Ringgit cheaper than at my usual hairdresser. And with her "You better do it or die" look in her eyes, I guessed its a better option than listening to that lady, (she was getting a bit too friendly at this stage) I quickly accepted the offer even though my hair has grown less than 18.9 mm (on average)
And lastly, here is my observation:
1. If your wife wants to get a haircut, drop her off there and go somewhere else. She will call you when she is done unless you love the smell of burn hair, sweat, shampoo, ammonia, dyes, etc.
2. Never ever join her in there unless you like living dangerously (flirting in front of her would get you killed or instant castration, whichever hurts the most)
3. Read books or magazines, it does not matter if you don't understand the words
4. If you got caught in a conversation, either go along with the flow or create your own soap opera like you were once a convicted serial rapist but you have now gone straight and is now with your fitfh wife (where the first four died mysteriously), etc.
5. You can feign sleep but make sure you don't sleep near the toilet or the front door
6. When you pick up your wife, remark how nice that new hair-do is, and make sure you pay the bill
Stupid proverb of the day:
Going to a cinema with a blind man is like going to a rock concert with a deaf girl.
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