The Good and Bad of Life (Or, today, I am bored)

No matter what you do in Life, if there is something good for you, something bad is just around the corner. And after you have experienced something Bad, then you’d know that something Good is around the corner. Unless you have bad Karma, then that something Good you anticipated could turn out to be something Bad which is Worse for you.

For you see, these are the Yin and Yang in Life. And however it may seem, there is no proven formula that if you do anything Good, you will be rewarded accordingly or if you have experienced something Bad, Goodness is just right behind it. There are also no definite plus and minus score chart for you as these events will come in a random fashion. However, if you reflect on the last few months of your Life, you would realize that such formula actually does exist and it goes like this:

Natural Good + Forced Good – Forced Bad + Good = Bad

e.g. Today is a Good Day (Natural Good) because you helped an old Lady across the road (Forced Good) even though does not want to and she hit you with an umbrella (Forced Bad) which landed you in the Hospital and you saw your enemy dying (Good). But, in the end, you just realized that your enemy owes you a lot of money which you cannot recover (Bad) and he has been seeing your Wife (Bad) for more than six years (Bad)

Or,

Forced Bad + Bad – Good + Natural Bad = Bad
You just saw your enemy across the road and you ran across (Forced Bad) and unfortunately, you Wife had a secret affair with him (Bad) and failed to step on the brakes (Good). As a result, your legs got hit (Bad) and she lost her Life hitting a tree (Bad) while your enemy runs away (Bad).

Other formula:
1) You accepted your friend’s final gift which was her favourite cat. A week later, your house becomes Cat Central and after a few months, you’re broke and out of work because most of your time and money went to taking care of the kittens which scratched your mortgaged house into smithereens.
[Good + Natural Bad + Forced Bad = Bad x Bad]

2) You plucked up enough courage to ask that beautiful clerk of yours for a drink and the next morning, you noticed that she has an extra appendage which makes a very interesting third mountain under the bedsheet.
[Forced Good + Good = Natural Bad]

3) You ate the free Viagra which you saw thrown out of the window and for the next few days, you were a walking tripod. Unfortunately, your sex-happy Wife was out of town and your tired Mistress (done by the same man who threw the Viagra out of the window) does not want anything to do with sticks for a week.
[Good + Forced Good x Natural Bad – Bad = Shit]

4) You got robbed and you managed to defend yourself. Then the thief sued you and after the expensive court session, you slipped on a fallen bottle. While you’re trying to balance yourself, you accidentally pushed the thief onto the busy road. Now you’re serving Life and there are no Playstations in there.
[Natural Bad + Good / Bad + Bad + Good + Bad + Bad + Forced Bad = Damn!]

5) You studied hard to get A’s, worked even harder in your career and now you’re a CEO and also a proud father. You are a shining example to the community. Unfortunately, your 2 year old daughter went around and told everyone you like to do monkeys from behind. And everyone believed her.
[Forced Good + Forced Good + Good + Damn Good = Woohoo / Awwww, no]

6) You helped your neighbour build a new library shelf and he gave you the latest Harry Potter book as a reward but your 8 year old son told you the ending before you even got to the second page.
[Forced Good + Natural Good = WTF…..!]

7) You saved months for a brand new Mobile Phone and after traveling across the City to buy it, the shop below your apartment sells it for half-price and it even comes in limited edition Pearl White.
[Forced Good + Forced Good = Oh for goodness’s sake]

8) You gave your enemy some chocolates which has camel semen in it. And he returned the favour with your Wife.
[Forced Bad + Bad = Shit]

9) After months of E-Mails, and reading and helping each other’s blogs both of you met for the first time. After a few hot dates, both of you decided to get married before the nine months are up but at the altar, your Great Great Great Granny pointed out the two of you are related.
[Forced Good + Good + Natural Good + Goody + Bad = You’ve got to be kidding!]

10) Buying a MP3 player in the shape of a Transformer toy on impulse only only to discover that you need to get a miniSD card separately. Oop. Oh, hey, this has been covered.
[Forced Good + Good x Bad = Shit]

Oh, well. You get the picture.

1 comment:

Will said...

very, very confused :P