Out of Office Reply

To whom it may concern,

Yes, I am busy. Yes, I am out of the office. And yes, I am working very hard. So, please put all the relevant documents in the middle of the table and not on top of the books. And as for people who walk past my table at more than 5Km/h, please walk slowly. Your motion will create a draft which will blow the papers onto the floor and sometimes, under the table which I might not even notice until the Boss calls. And for those who fart when they walk through the room, I got news for you.

I have bought a few airtight ziplock bags to trap the farts and when the sniffer dog is feeling better, I will ask it to trace the bugger who walked through the room after eating durians today.

As soon as I have saved enough, I will print out
a cardboard cut-out of myself with a very stern
look and put it on the chair. I hope it will scare
people away, especially those who like to put
documents on my desk.

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