Being a kid was fun until suddenly, you realise that a lot of things have started taking up residence on your face. And it’s not just about pimples looking for a place to stay. On no, sir. Just overnight, tiny hair/weeds started to sprout in areas where, to a kid, they have no business to be there in the first place. And so, like any Father to Son tradition, I got a shaver.
Actually, at that time, I was already panicking since the only time I’ve ever seen grown adults removing these facial hairs were either getting shaved by a barber (that would cost a lot of money) or using a big long knife like a cowboy (wah, so macho!). Unfortunately, as my day-dreaming subsided, I realised, what I held in my hands, was a battery-operated lawn mower.
As decades replaced years, I was always mowing my face. Come to think of it, it’s convenient and very safe. Because at that age, I was a walking disaster to everyone when it came to sharp objects and I hate taking shots. With the battery-operated shaver, I can trim the hair to any pattern I liked and more so, with the sideburns. Fast forward three decades later, my safety net disappeared.
Yeah, smart le me accidentally shipped the shaver’s charger back home and forgot all about it.
And so, my descent into adulthood more or less became a slippery slope. I had to decide whether to grow a patchy beard or get another shaver. I decided to choose the latter since I look weird with a bad wig on my face anyway. In the end, out of desperation and running out of weed killer, I grabbed a normal shaver at the Supermarket. Normal as in two pieces of sharp blades stuck on a swiveling handle. It has no motors, is always ready 24/7 and does not need hours of cleaning. Unlike my extremely aromatic shaver which needs to be recharged and de-haired every now and then. Yeah, hours of fun with the cotton bud guaranteed.
In theory, I know how to use a razor as I’ve seen them in advertisements when I was a teenager. I mean how hard can it be? You just lather up your face with some soap, drag the razor upwards and you’re done. OK, so there will be some blood but nothing manning up won’t help.
Then, very quickly, my Wife has taught me what shaver foam is.
Even quicker, I now know what razor burn is.